Hometown Hero, Part II

On this post-Thanksgiving trip back to New York, I am thankful for Celeste and her ability to find the funniest shit on the Internet. If you haven’t yet viewed the link she posted (here, again, for your convenience), I politely insist that you do so now.

Being back at the parents’ place for a few days was relaxing and full of exceptionally fattening cuisine. Over the course of the past twenty-four hours, I single-handedly consumed most of the innards of a grocery store-bought apple pie. Thank you Roche Brothers for sharing your delicious, heart attack-inducing baked goods with the world.

Dinner with the family was the usual raucous affair at my grandparents’ country club culminating with a meeting of my grandmother’s family (ours) and her ex-husband’s second wife’s (got that clear?) that may very well have resembled the first meeting of the Pilgrims and the Native Americans. How apropos! Fear not, gentle reader: a few vodka-sodas later, all were in great spirits. Before passing out in the car ride home (go me!), I very vividly recall my mom insisting that each individual family unit comprising the extended group pose for “hilarious family photos.” The results are not pretty and will not be posted here (though I may send a few to the wait staff as a token of appreciation for their putting up with us).

As I couldn’t join TNT for the group run in Central Park today, I ran my assigned seven miles all by my lonesome self in the old ‘hood. Armed with ye olde crafty G-Map Pedometer, I mapped out what I thought looked like a fun alternative to the standard jaunt in and out of town center. What I failed to realize was that this “new route” was almost entirely uphill (with a couple of real muthas in there for even more “fun”). Did I mention the severe wind warnings issued this morning in the Greater Boston area?

Stuffed Scott + mostly uphill course + 30 m.p.h. winds smacking my wimpy frame around = not the most enjoyable run of all time.

To my credit, I pounded it out in a legit time and was able, upon completion, to walk to the car to further feed my face at lunch. I am currently relaxing my knees on the Amtrak en route to New York, as Imperial Master Coach Christine has us running another fifty minutes tomorrow. I suppose that’s more reason to get schwasted in the city tonight, yes? Yes. Yes I will yes.